Black Women’s Guide To Dealing With Broken Black Men

The Kybalion
August 17, 2015
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Black Women’s Guide To Dealing With Broken Black Men

Have you ever asked your man was he molested as a child? Do you know about the type of abuse that he has had to deal with? You should ask, then you’ll understand why he behaves the way he does.


There is a huge problem with black relationships. The problem is we don’t really know one another, most of us are caught up in the cycle of fighting and fucking, fucking and fighting, with an occasional vacation in between, and then it’s back to fighting and fucking, fucking and fighting.


We are lying in bed with each other not even knowing that we are total strangers. There are skeletons in both closets, but the skeletons that are really affecting the relationship, are the skeletons that the man is dealing with.b412ec1c2df2c079bf4ded67e75fa0d2


Black women have collective historical trauma, as well as individual trauma but I believe black women’s trauma at least gets talked about. At least people are made aware of the plight of black women, it’s so many issues on the table that haven’t been addressed but at least the surface has been scratched.


Black men however live in a dark world, a bottomless pit, with no refuge. Like black women, black men collectively have suffered historical trauma.


We were made aware of the legal rape black women faced generationally at the hands of white slave owners, but what we never really talked about was the sexual misconduct that was done to black men. Why is this important?


It’s important because our hyper sexual nature has an origin. We just weren’t bucks being used for breeding purposes fueling capitalism; we also were sex objects for the slave master and his wife.


It’s well documented that Europe was very open-minded when it came to homosexuality and when it comes to sex overall, white people tend to push the envelope, so just imagine what it’s like to push the envelope with something you don’t even consider a human being, it’s just property, it’s an object, it’s just a fucking thing!


Were black men ganged rapped? Were we pissed and shitted on? The idea isn’t far-fetched, if you can lynch a man, than I’m sure pissing on a man is second nature. Something had to happen deeper than free labor to completely destroy our psyche.


Millions of black men in America are zombies, nothing but a shell, void of innocence, born broken, but why though?


What’s going inside of our DNA that makes us treat black women like shit? Why do we have a disconnect with our children? What makes us afraid of emotional transparency?



I didn’t know when my mother’s boyfriend son Zack was touching me, that it was wrong. It wasn’t explained to me that, that type of behavior isn’t healthy. I didn’t know that I was being taken advantage of. I was 5 or 6 years old, I was innocent, and he was taking that from me and I didn’t even know it.


Looking back on it though, I wonder who took it from him! Who robbed Zack of his innocence? What could possibly make him do that to me? He was supposed to be protecting me, not violating me, but damn, who did this to him, and how long did it happen?


Did someone do that to Zack or was he playing out behavior from his ancestral memory?


Our fathers were raped, they had no innocence, and we are their offspring, so what can black women do to heal us broken men.95ca88670cefee0762c9498e42b10b8f





Way before the sex starts you should really get to know him, not the surface him, the real him. The real him is the him that you can’t see. The real him is the memories, the tears that he’s cried, the disappointment, the hurt, the insecurities and the fear.


If you don’t know this, then you won’t know how to process his behavior when he starts to show signs of retardation. You may think it’s you and blame yourself, but it isn’t you, it’s him, but you won’t know that unless you really have serious conversations in a judgement free zone.


If he trusts you completely, you’ll avoid a lot of headaches and setbacks. The best way to establish trust is to give him a lane that is totally free of judgement. You want him to be comfortable enough to talk about his truths. No matter what his demons are, you have to be able to handle it, and you can’t bail on him.


If you sign up for this, you have to see the process all the way to the end; he’s going to need you.


The reason you want him to be brutally honest and open is to enable him to be his real self around you, instead of him going to the strip club just to be organic with a complete stranger.


It’s extremely hard for people to express truth, it’s even harder to receive it, but if you want to help him heal, you must become someone who you have possibly never been to get a result from him that you never seen.






I know from personal experience what it’s like to be involved intimately with other nationalities of women. It tends to be a little different.


Other races of women seem to worship black men, (even though their reason for worshipping a black man may be mundane), regardless they still do it. Even if it’s rooted in something strictly sexual, a black man tends to be treated like a god by other races of women, and that’s a problem, but it can be explained, and fixed.


Social engineering has made the relationship between black men, and black women uniquely awkward. All someone has to do is study oppression in America, and you’ll quickly see how systematic racism has turned the black household into a reality show.


Because of intricate subjugation, black women are way to fucking exhausted to worship a black man.


Typically a black woman has had to hold down her whole family emotionally, and now days financially, so when it comes time to pour into her man, well, she’s too fucking drained.


A broken black man only adds to the years of exhaustion, so her worshipping him is an afterthought, but it’s something that has to be done in order to build and shape him.


I believe when a woman has a man’s attention, he gives her the power over his self-esteem, her opinion matters.


So since your opinion matters, you have the ability to breathe life into him because thoughts are most definitely things.


Yes positive affirmations are important, but physical affirmations supersede that.


A broken black man needs to be touched, because mostly likely he wasn’t held as a child, or he was physically violated as a child, either way touch has a strangeness to it.


It’s deeper than sex, I’m talking real worship. When he walks through the door, you should always be right there to greet him; excited to see him like it was the first date.


His clothes should always be removed, he should be bathed, his feet should be kissed, his hair should be brushed, his doo-rag should be put on, and he should be treated with the utmost respect, like he really is a king in status.2da25eb5580a68378cc44ee88ea93f7a


It’s impossible to heal a black man that’s broken if your ego is involved.


Worship him in your cooking, worship him with your pussy, worship him when you’re shopping for yourself, but you see something that he may like and you decided to buy it for him even though that was your last 50.00$ till you get paid. This is what it takes, and if he’s broken to the point that he can’t appreciate your selflessness, fuck it, some people weren’t meant to be saved.








A lot of men haven’t been taught, but if they have, they’ve been taught incorrectly.


Black men haven’t been taught to love black women, the love we have for our mother’s is by default. Sometimes we love our mother’s because that’s the only option that we’ve had but secretly we have a ingrained dislike for our mothers.


We’ve seen them bring men in and out the house, we’ve seen them be messy, we’ve seen them be unstable, and we’ve spent years being disgruntled about that.


We don’t take our frustrations out on the person that caused our problems; instead we take it out on the women we get into a relationship with. Everything we do in the relationship may be totally toxic, but we our only acting out what we have been taught, so we need correction!


Black women can be our best teachers as long as the correction is with love. Even if it’s tough love, black men got to man the fuck up and receive that love.


It takes compassion to properly give correction because you have to inner-stand the problems that the man has been through to fully grasp why he’s behaving like he is.


Proper correction makes a person take accountability for their actions, victim correction keeps a person feeling powerless, and that’s counterproductive, because to truly heal a broken man, he needs power to pull himself out of the mud. YOU ARE THE NUMBER 1 POWER SOURCE.4ac1cc81674373e9f334934e0fc57fd8






When he sees you loving yourself, its two things that will happen


A.) He will become a hater and begin to sabotage everything you do. He will be the reason why every single blessing that you’re anticipating falls apart.




B.) He will see the love you have for yourself and that will influence him to treat himself the same way.


Many times we don’t even have a frame of reference of people loving themselves, we see people mistreating themselves so much that it becomes normal and we just mirror it.


The most important reason you must love yourself more than him is because, you may catch yourself staying involved in a toxic relationship and there will be no return on the investment.


Worship your black man with all the energy you can, but not at the expense of your own sanity. He may need something that you can’t provide, you should allow him to go find it elsewhere.




Many black women make a huge mistake when they first meet someone. They get caught up on the things that really don’t hold any weight, like his car, or how handsome he is, or his dick size, but know nothing about his emotional health.


Many black women are suckers for book smart men that can carry a conversation but they are unaware that the man only read those books in order to mask his hurt. He became an intellectual that never got help for his child-hood issues, and that can be extremely confusing to a woman, cause men that can keep a conversation going sound as if they have their shit together, but that’s far from the truth.


When you go out on dates, get right to the put, be aggressively blunt. Ask questions about his child-hood, his parents, his fears, and things that make him tick. You want him to put all his cards on the table, so you can decide if he’s worth the investment, not just that though, you have to keep in mind that he may have dysfunction in his DNA, so if you have a baby with him, your child may have his father’s trauma. Some men are worth the risk, most aren’t


It’s not wise to spend so much time drinking, drugging, and fucking when you first meet a guy, because you’ll overlook clear red flags.


There is no such thing as a soul mate! Everything comes down to what we can tolerate from a person, so make sure you have certain deal breakers, and make sure that you communicate in the beginning so you can decide if a broken man is worth loving.









Ken Brisbon
Ken Brisbon
I want to thank you for stopping by even if you don't agree with the things I say. I don't write for people to agree, I write to offer a different perspective, so If I got you to consider a thought you never considered before, then I've done my job.


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