Yes it is true. Your grandma and great grandma was all about being an “independent” woman. Yes I know fellas this spoils your flawed theory that every woman enjoys frying you chicken and ironing your pants. But it’s not true. We don’t all like that and don’t assume your grandmother didn’t enjoy that shit either.
Grandma was living in a time where she was forced to marry young. Marriage was NOT the goal, it was survival. I was raised by my grandmother and I can remember her and my great grandmother having conversations on how they were married at 14 and 15 years of age. She never had the chance and opportunity to be who she really wanted to be. My beautiful grandmother was wonderful cook. Had she been growing up during these times it would be her that is the food blogger not me. She appears often in my dreams sending me confirmation to move forward in my goals. She lives in me. So every time I make it a priority to be a career woman instead of only being someone’s wife, my grandmother smiles.
That’s why it tinkles my fancy when males say women back then were better at keeping a man because they did ‘this and that’ but guess what? A lot of those women were MISERABLE! A LOT of these women stayed in very abusive and/or just generally unhappy situations. Trust me, granny would have been twerking for the Polaroid if she could. At times she couldn’t stand your grandpa abusive cheating ass and raising y’all bad asses. But she did what she had to do with the options that were available to her.
Your grandpa was cheating with the neighbor anyway. Had an entire family outside the home. Grandma had her eyes on other men and trust me they had their eyes on her as well.
Related: Some Women Need More Than One Man
Grandma might of had a fling or two on the side on the low. This was the man she was really in love with. Because more than likely this man allowed her to be herself. He allowed her to be free in who she was and he was the one that made her feel wanted while your grandpa was in the streets chasing up under every other skirt in town.
What do you think she would tell us little girls when we would cook with her or while she greased her scalp? Boys weren’t allowed in those conversations for a reason. She would tell us to NEVER rely on a man and have our own shit! She so desperately wanted that for herself.
Related: Be Married To Yourself
I cannot tell you how many times me and my grandma would talk and she would tell me how she wish she did not give up her entire life and dreams to be a housewife. How she wish she had the skills and independence to go out and get her own(she didn’t even know how to drive which was common for a lot of women back then). If she could do it again, it would have been different.
Beyonce didn’t make me an independent woman. Grandma and great grandma did. Been grooming us since we were 6 years old. She groomed us for this because she knew how it felt to have dreams die and sacrifice to the point where you lose yourself. She didn’t want that for the next generation of women. Being married in general can be a great thing when both parties are partners in building something. Taking care of a home is an important task and there is nothing lazy about doing so. But even housewives need their own identity outside of taking care of everyone else. (Remember Maxine from the Showtime Soul Food Series?) And of course no one is truly independent. We all rely on others. We are really interdependence vs “independent.”Outside of a child, you should never desire a grown woman to be totally dependent on you. That will only handicap and cripple a her.
If anything I have said has helped you, show your appreciation by buying me a cup of tea. I’m not a fan of coffee. https://www.paypal.me/GinaMMarie