Main chicks are nothing but side chicks pretending to be something more. I know this because I been both a main chick and a side chick. However main chicks don’t get called out enough. We let them off the hook. Truth be told, they are no better than the side chick.
“Behind us posing together on social media
is a man that just finish cheating on me
They don’t know that he doesn’t come home every night
And when he finally does lay in my bed
he brings with him his other lovers scent”
You as a main chick act as if you are privileged. But that is all it is; an act. There is nothing privileged about settling for a man that has another woman. There is nothing privileged about a man that gives you crumbs while you pretend in public you have the entire pie. Those Kodak moments look so good to you, that you begin to fool yourself and others with your photo shopped life.
You crave a monogamous union. In poly unions, there are no such thing as a main chick or side chick because everyone knows about the other. You are NOT poly. You hate that your man is loving her, venting to her, fucking her, and yes even falling in love with her. He is doing every fantasy with her he cannot get at home with you. You know his side chick is his peace away from the responsibilities of the household. This rips you apart and you are left with the insecurity of wondering why you are not good enough to keep your man at home.
You and her both are being lied to however. You and her both want him to yourselves. It’s funny because he paints this illusion of the grass being greener on the other side and you both fall for it. You and the side chick hate each other over a man that will never fully belong to either one of you. What is even sadder is that you know your position can be changed. At anytime you can be “demoted” and the side chick can be “promoted.”
So now you try to be like the side chick. You stalk her social media pages. You try to dress like her. Talk like her. Workout like her. You try to pretend you are into the same things your man finds so intriguing about her. As a main chick, you have totally lost all self identity. You are thinking “maybe I can do what she does and he will stop messing with her.” He won’t. See there is nothing wrong with you in the first place. He is just a liar who is a destructive force hurting everyone he comes across.
So now what? You can’t get him to leave her alone. Your next desperate attempt is to go on the attack. You start writing subliminal status on various social media accounts about feeling sorry for women who do not know their worth, as if somehow you have any worth yourself settling for a man who can’t keep his word.
Oh and how was that last clinic visit? I know you stay in there; what’s this the 4th time this year? And no the side chick does not have any STDs, it’s just your monthly dose of Bacterial Vaginosis he gifts to you due to throwing your vaginal ph off. I mean he is “rawing” both you and her after all. And since he is having unprotected sex with her, you constantly worry about the side chick having a baby with your guy. Think about the shit you have settled for.
You have to share him but unlike her, you also have to put up with the responsibilities that goes along with his ass. If he is locked up you are responsible for lawyers and bail money. You are responsible for his children . You have to “hold a nigga down” while he disrespects and embarrasses you.
“He knows where home is, he comes home every night!” Yeah OK you know that is not always the case. Some nights he does not come home and you cry yourself to sleep. And when he does come home after being in your vehicle, oh I’m sorry I mean “ya’ll vehicle”, he lays next to you smelling like her. You worry every time he is out of your sight. I know this is true. I been you.
“Behind this Kodak moment
They don’t know that I’m desperate for crumbs of his love
because I feel none for myself
putting up with it all
Surface illusions we are “goals”
but in reality my soul just wants to escape and go
Making pain, lies, and deceit look good but
behind that captured moment is a mess filled with temporary highs and permanent lows
being lost in his every move and manipulated by his every word”
This is not to hurt anyone. I write this out of a pure love because I want you to wake the fuck up. I want to make you face your truth as I had to do. It is the only thing that will save you because this nigga sure won’t. You have to stop lying to yourself. He has you feeling privileged for being cheated on. You are no better than the side chick. You are acting delusional as much as she is. He gives pieces of himself while you are offering up all of you. That is an unfair exchange. He has you thinking he is the prize when really he is your down fall.
Know what you want and be confident in your womanhood to believe you will receive that. Either you are going to “get your poly on” and accept her as a part of his life; or you desire a more monogamous relationship and you leave his ass alone. Either way you have to be honest with yourself. Know this, life is full of infinite possibilities. There are billions of people in the world. There are no shortage of men. So I am sure there is at least ONE PERSON that desires what you desire. Stop settling for a glorified side chick position. Claim the title you really want…THE ONLY CHICK.
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